Living with Someone’s Negative Energy: How to Protect Your Own Space
How to Protect Your Energy from Negative People: A Complete Guide
Are you living with, working with, or constantly needing to interact with someone who continually carries negative energy?
If you answered "yes," you probably dread it the moment they walk through the door, email or call you. This is something we've all dealt with. It might be an overworked, tired, and frustrated partner or spouse - feeling under-appreciated and lashing out. Or, perhaps it's a teenager who holds it together all day but falls apart when they come home, overwhelmed by big emotions. Maybe it's aging parents who are fearful because they are isolated and spend too much time watching negativity on the news - and you're the only person they can turn to as an outlet.
Whatever the situation, you're not alone. I hear about clients living with negative energy from others every single week. When we live or work with someone negative, it can change our mood in an instant. Establishing strong energy boundaries is essential; without them, we can easily absorb negativity and mirror others' emotions. By consciously maintaining these energy boundaries, we protect ourselves from being influenced by their feelings.
💭 Do you feel like this?
– Dread when they walk in the room
– Constant tension in your body that isn’t yours
– Emotional exhaustion after every conversation
– Resentment for someone you love but can’t help
– Trying to “fix it” just so you don’t have to feel it anymore
About Me
I am Janet Rae Orth. In my 30 years as an intuitive energy healer and spiritual coach, energy drain and poor boundaries are among the most common challenges I help clients navigate. I've worked with hundreds of people, from healthcare workers absorbing patient trauma, to parents managing teenagers' emotional storms, to professionals dealing with toxic workplace dynamics. Through my own experiences as a highly sensitive person, and thousands of client sessions, I've learned that protecting your energy isn't selfish - it's essential. And it's absolutely learnable.
📧 Constantly drained by others’ emotions? Join my newsletter for monthly energy protection tools, intuitive guidance, and exclusive discounts — so you can stay centered no matter who you’re around. [Subscribe →]
Why Negative Energy Drains You So Quickly
When you live or work closely with someone who is carrying negative energy, it can feel like you’re constantly on edge. You are resisting when this person may come in the door or calls you on the phone. They don’t even have to say anything, just their presence can affect you.
Much like animals in a herd who instinctively pick up on a sense of danger or panic and act accordingly, we too absorb the emotions of those around us. If someone is fearful, stressed, or anxious, we might begin to feel the same way without even realizing why.
Think about a negative coworker who constantly fears they might lose their job, soon, the whole office is worried. Or someone in a tense environment begins to hold their breath and tense their shoulders; it won't take long before the people around them do the same.
Without energy boundaries, it becomes almost impossible to protect yourself from other people’s emotions or maintain healthy relationships. We might start resenting the person, wishing they weren’t around, or feeling angry every time they enter the room. This is something that comes up every week in sessions with my clients. We’ve all got that person.
✨ You can love someone… without absorbing their emotions.
Why This Happens to You (It's Not Your Imagination)
Have you ever wondered why you can walk into a room and immediately sense tension, even when no one has said a word? Or why being around someone who's anxious makes your own shoulders tighten up? There's actual science behind this phenomenon.
It turns out, our brain is wired to mimic emotions from others.
Mirror Neurons: Your Brain's Emotional Copycat Our brains contain specialized cells called mirror neurons that automatically mimic what we observe in others. When you see someone frown, your mirror neurons fire as if you're frowning too. This neurological response happens in milliseconds, faster than conscious thought. It's why watching someone in pain makes you wince, or why yawning is contagious.
When you're around someone carrying heavy emotions, your mirror neurons are constantly firing in response to their facial expressions, body language, and energy. Your nervous system begins to mirror their state without your permission.
Your Nervous System's Survival Response From an evolutionary perspective, this emotional mirroring kept our ancestors alive. If one person in the tribe sensed danger, everyone needed to feel that urgency immediately. Your nervous system still operates this way, it picks up on stress, fear, and negativity as potential threats.
When someone around you is chronically stressed or negative, your nervous system stays in a heightened state of alert. This is why you might feel:
Tension in your shoulders and jaw
Difficulty sleeping after difficult conversations
Unexplained anxiety when they're around
Physical exhaustion from "just talking"
The Invisible Energy Exchange Beyond the neurological response, Traditional Chinese Medicine and acupuncture have long recognized that we all have an energetic field, sometimes called an aura, that extends beyond our physical body. When someone's energy field is disrupted by fear, anger, or chronic stress, it can create ripples that affect the energy fields of people around them.
Think of it like being in a pool when someone creates waves. Even if you're not moving, the water around you is affected. Similarly, turbulent emotional energy doesn't stay contained, it ripples outward.
Why Some People Affect Us More Than Others You might notice that certain people's energy affects you more intensely. This often happens when:
You have a close emotional bond (family, romantic partners)
You're naturally empathic or highly sensitive
You share living or working space with them
You're going through your own period of stress or transition
They trigger a soul or core memory for you
If you're a highly sensitive person, you might also have intuitive or psychic abilities that make you even more susceptible to others' energy. Learn more about [The Five Clairs For Highly Sensitive People➝] and how they affect your energy sensitivity.
The Snowball Effect Here's what makes this particularly challenging: the longer you're exposed to negative energy without proper energetic boundaries, the more your own nervous system becomes dysregulated. You might find yourself becoming more reactive, less patient, or feeling "like you aren’t yourself”.
This isn't a character flaw, it's a natural human response to chronic stress exposure. Understanding this can help you feel less guilty about needing to protect your energy and more motivated to create healthy energetic boundaries.
The Desire to Fix It
When we feel their discomfort, we naturally want to fix it. We try to make the negative person feel better because, let’s face it, we also want to feel better. If they feel better, we won’t have to carry or feel their negativity, right? We may care about them deeply, but the truth is, we cannot fix their emotions. They are the ones who need to work through their feelings and challenges. When we try to change or “fix” someone, we’re stepping out of our lane and into theirs. We start expending our own energy in ways that drain us while trying to solve a problem that isn’t ours to carry.
🚧 What happens when you try to fix someone else’s pain
This "fixing" can also backfire, often, the person lashes out even more because they already have too much of other people's energy and expectations swirling around inside of them.
What transpires? You end up with one person stuck in a negative space and another person feeling overwhelmed by it. The result? It becomes a toxic dynamic, and nobody wins. So, how do we change this pattern?
The First Step: Realizing It's Not Your Problem to Fix
This might be one of the hardest lessons to learn. You cannot fix someone else’s energy. You might feel empathy for their situation or deeply care about them, but when you enter their emotional space, you may lose touch with your own feelings.
🛑 It’s not your job to carry their energy.
The first step in protecting your energy is understanding that their struggles are theirs to solve, not yours.
Ask yourself: Is this my lane? If the answer is no, then it’s time to release that energy and focus on what you can control, your own space and emotions.
Signs You're Absorbing Someone Else's Energy
Your body and emotions will tell you when your boundaries need attention. The three signs I see most commonly are feeling tired, becoming anxious, and shutting down.
Watch for these signals:
Physical Warning Signs:
Sudden headaches or tension when they enter the room or after they leave
Feeling drained after conversations, even short ones
Your shoulders, jaw, or stomach tightening around them
Difficulty sleeping after difficult interactions
Feeling "heavy" or sluggish in their presence
Overeating or drinking more than usual to numb the discomfort
Changes in appetite or sleep patterns
Feeling physically ill or run down more often
Emotional Red Flags:
Taking on their worry as if it's your own
Feeling anxious or angry without knowing why
Your mood shifting dramatically when they're upset
Feeling responsible for their emotional state
Losing touch with your own feelings and needs
Energetic Symptoms:
Feeling "not like yourself" around them
Your usual coping strategies stop working
Craving more alone time than usual
Feeling scattered or unfocused after interactions
The moment you notice these signs, it's time to strengthen your energy boundaries and clear your energy.
🔒 Tools to Protect Your Energy (and Reclaim Your Peace)
Creating energetic boundaries is essential for protecting your emotional and mental well-being. The key is setting these boundaries before you need them - once someone's negative energy enters your space, it's too late.
Your Daily Rose Boundary Practice (5-10 Minutes)
The most powerful way to protect your energy is creating a daily rose boundary using the Rose Meditation ⬇️. Just 5-10 minutes each morning will transform how you move through your day.
Morning Rose Boundary (5-10 minutes):
Use the Rose Meditation to visualize your protective rose boundary ⬇️
Set a clear intention: "This rose will protect me throughout my day”
Feel the rose creating an energetic shield around your personal space
Create a grounding cord, like a tree trunk, that extends from the base of your spine down to the center of the earth, allowing any negativity to drain away
Throughout the Day:
Check in with your body every few hours: "Is this energy mine?”
If you feel heavy or tense after interactions, reconnect with your rose boundary
Visualize your grounding cord releasing the negative energy
Evening Reset (2 minutes):
Thank your rose boundary for protecting you all day
Imagine any absorbed energy washing away down the grounding cord
Set your intention to maintain this protection while you sleep
This routine becomes automatic within a month and creates a foundation of energetic self-care.
🌹 Start protecting your energy today. Download the Rose Meditation and feel the difference after just one practice. [Download Now →]
This Rose Meditation exercise is simple, but it's incredibly powerful when practiced daily. Bestselling author Jackie Pflug says it changed her life! It is also part of my psychic protection class at Miraval in Tucson.
💫 If you’re exhausted from carrying other people’s negativity, it doesn’t have to stay this way. In a private Energetic Boundaries Session, I’ll teach you simple tools to protect your energy — so you can finally feel calm, clear, and yourself again. [Book Your Session →]
"I finally have peace of mind in my own home again." — Recent Client
What Clients Say About Energetic Boundaries Work
The transformation people experience when they learn to protect their energy is profound and immediate. Here's what clients share after working with me:
"I've incorporated the practices into my daily routine, which has significantly improved my emotional well-being and resilience. I move forward with a lighter heart."
"It helped me release emotional burdens that I didn't even realize I was carrying."
"I finally have peace of mind in my own home again."
"I feel like a different person with renewed and lighter energy."
"For the first time in years, I can be around my family without feeling drained."
"The tools work immediately - I noticed a difference after the first session."
People consistently tell me that learning energy boundaries doesn't just help with difficult relationships - it transforms how they move through the world. They sleep better, feel more like themselves, and have greater vitality for what matters most.
Ready to Protect Your Energy?
You don't have to keep absorbing other people's negativity. Learn the tools that will transform how you feel around difficult people.
🛡️ [Book Your Energetic Boundaries Session by phone→] Get personalized techniques to clear energy that isn't yours and create lasting protection.
📧 [Join My Newsletter →] Get Part 2 of this series plus monthly energy protection tips and session discounts.
"After my session, I feel like a different person with renewed and lighter energy." — Sarah M.